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Bacon Cheese Fries Assassinated at McKinley Grille by Angry Professor

 

MUNCIE, INDIANA - Tragedy has struck the Ball State community after its beloved Bacon Cheese Fries were assassinated by an irate professor earlier this afternoon. The professor, seen chewing a pack of 5 Gum, reached his breaking point over a simple, yet fateful, menu mix-up.

"I saw him pacing back and forth, chewing on gum like there was no tomorrow," said a nearby diner. "He kept muttering something about 'baked cheese fries,' not 'bacon cheese fries.' I thought he was just having a bad day, but then things got really wild!"

According to surveillance video, the professor appeared to order baked cheese fries, only to receive the beloved bacon cheese fries instead. The minor mix-up led to a major outrage that no one could ever predict.

The professor was seen reaching into their pocket, pulling out a KitchenAid 5-Speed Ultra Power Hand Mixer, plugging it into the outlet behind the food counter, shoving it into the beloved cheese fries, and turning it to the highest setting. The flesh of the fries flooded the walls of The Atrium, making it unusable for human occupation. A spokesperson said it'll "open as-normal, tomorrow" after a janitor "cleans the mess".

BSnUws spoke with the janitor, who exclusively told us he "quit", "won't show up", and "needs a day to cope" the loss of their beloved fries.

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